approval.

My hope and prayer behind this post is to encourage you by telling some of my story:

Before Jesus was truly in charge of my life, when I was still doing things "Caleb's way," I struggled with one sin more than the rest: approval. I've always desired it...

Approval of my family. My closest friends.

My teachers. Coaches. Pastors. Bosses. Co-workers. Subordinates.

The kids I work with... their families and friends. 

The list could go on... and on... and on... but I think you get the idea. 

But it was more than approval. It wasn't just that you accepted me... it's that I was at the TOP of your list. In other words, I felt that I should be the FAVORITE cousin. Your BEST friend. The IDEAL student or player or worker. The COOLEST counselor or teacher. I wanted your attention. And lots of it. And if someone or something else got more, it upset me. I suddenly felt that I needed to do something to get back to the top... to gain back that lost attention.

And it led to anxiety. High levels of it. I became obsessive. "What do they really think of me? What if they don't actually like me? They would rather hang out with someone else. I'll never be their favorite. What can I do to get them to like me more?"

But God used Scripture to really convict me. Galatians 1, in particular. Contextually, Paul was writing to the church in Galatia concerning false teachers who were perverting the Gospel. He knew his letter would upset some people but notice what he said in verse 10:

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

[Galatians 1:10]

No matter the purpose behind his letter, Paul's words in Galatians 1 convicted me. I knew I was trying to please people instead of serving an "audience of One." I realized I didn't need to be on the TOP of everyone's list. I just needed to serve the Lord with everything I had and not worry about the rest.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm still human. I still struggle with sin. Every day actually. I still find myself seeking the approval of those around me sometimes. But when I do, I remind myself of Galatians 1 and 1 Peter 5...

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 

[1 Peter 5: 6-7]

So, I urge you to hide these verses in your heart. Don't forget them. You will struggle with sin but don't allow it to cause you anxiety. Remember your Salvation and the One you belong to. Nothing can provide more encouragement.