plans.

Five years ago this week, I applied to be a Student Recruiter at the University of Tennessee. If you know me well then you know my blood has always ran orange and I have a fairly engaging personality, so the job seemed perfect for me.  I didn’t have to leave campus for work and I would show prospective students and their parents around the greatest university in the world… what could be better?!

Well. I made it to the second round of interviews and then I was cut… Wait. What? I couldn’t believe it. Who could do that job better than me?! What was I suppose to do now? I was devastated; my plans were crushed.

A friend suggested I apply to work at the YMCA. They offered jobs to college students to work in after school programs from 1-6pm every day. Soooo you’re saying I wouldn’t have to work nights OR weekends??? DONE! Sign me up. I can put up with some kids for a few hours every day, right?

Most of you know the story from there. I loved the job…every single (crazy) second of it… Which led to me working at camp... And ultimately to my call of children’s ministry.

Am I saying that if I had become a student recruiter at UT then I wouldn’t be where I am today? Not necessarily. But it’s not nearly as likely. I firmly believe in my heart that God was in the midst of every step along the way.

I’m NOT saying that there is “one perfect plan” for my life and if I veer off or make a wrong decision then it all falls apart... there is no more truth to that than the “one perfect soul mate” lie. However, I am saying that God’s way is always higher and better than mine.

I often think of Jesus’ time on earth… It seems like every time He drew attention to Himself through miracles or teachings, the Pharisees wanted to arrest and kill Him. But for nearly three years, He avoided arrest because His “time had not yet come.” God’s plan was perfect. His plans are still perfect today.

So I sit here thankful for God’s plan. And His timing. And His call on my life. What could be better? 

approval.

My hope and prayer behind this post is to encourage you by telling some of my story:

Before Jesus was truly in charge of my life, when I was still doing things "Caleb's way," I struggled with one sin more than the rest: approval. I've always desired it...

Approval of my family. My closest friends.

My teachers. Coaches. Pastors. Bosses. Co-workers. Subordinates.

The kids I work with... their families and friends. 

The list could go on... and on... and on... but I think you get the idea. 

But it was more than approval. It wasn't just that you accepted me... it's that I was at the TOP of your list. In other words, I felt that I should be the FAVORITE cousin. Your BEST friend. The IDEAL student or player or worker. The COOLEST counselor or teacher. I wanted your attention. And lots of it. And if someone or something else got more, it upset me. I suddenly felt that I needed to do something to get back to the top... to gain back that lost attention.

And it led to anxiety. High levels of it. I became obsessive. "What do they really think of me? What if they don't actually like me? They would rather hang out with someone else. I'll never be their favorite. What can I do to get them to like me more?"

But God used Scripture to really convict me. Galatians 1, in particular. Contextually, Paul was writing to the church in Galatia concerning false teachers who were perverting the Gospel. He knew his letter would upset some people but notice what he said in verse 10:

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

[Galatians 1:10]

No matter the purpose behind his letter, Paul's words in Galatians 1 convicted me. I knew I was trying to please people instead of serving an "audience of One." I realized I didn't need to be on the TOP of everyone's list. I just needed to serve the Lord with everything I had and not worry about the rest.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm still human. I still struggle with sin. Every day actually. I still find myself seeking the approval of those around me sometimes. But when I do, I remind myself of Galatians 1 and 1 Peter 5...

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 

[1 Peter 5: 6-7]

So, I urge you to hide these verses in your heart. Don't forget them. You will struggle with sin but don't allow it to cause you anxiety. Remember your Salvation and the One you belong to. Nothing can provide more encouragement. 

singleness is not a disease.

If you know me well, you know I’ve been in a few weddings. And by few I mean that I could make my own version of “27 Dresses.” Friends love to say “always a groomsman, never the groom.” All of my best friends are either married, engaged or seriously dating someone. So naturally everyone believes I should be, too. I mean think about it…. You are supposed to meet your spouse in college and get married shortly after graduation, right? “The rest of your life” begins once you have a job and get hitched. Well this mindset is the reason for my frustration…

When did Christ stop being enough? Doesn’t my life belong to Him whether I’m single or married? When I stop finding my self-worth and fulfillment in Him, I have a serious problem.

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I rejoice whenever friends get engaged or married and I’m truly honored to be a part of their big day. I, too, desire to one day be married and have children. But who says that has to be now? Or that I’ve missed my “window of opportunity” by finishing college and still being single?

Honestly, there are days I’ve wondered why I haven’t found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve found myself living like I’m waiting for someone to arrive. Society (even Christian society) treats singleness as the waiting room for marriage. And that mindset has trickled down to me.

But that isn't how I should think. And neither should you. When did singleness become a disease that needs a cure?

People told me “Caleb, you’re gonna move to Houston and find your wife!” Many of those same people are shocked that I’ve been in Texas for a year now and I’m still single. I didn’t move to Houston to find a wife. I moved to Houston to serve the Lord of my life. If I find a wife in the process, great. If not, great.  

Whether I’m single for another week or for the rest of my life, I will treat it as a gift. I plan to wake up every day excited to spend it with my Creator. What else do I need?

moments.

I spent last week in Orange Beach, Alabama with almost 3,000 high school students from the church I'm interning with this summer... I will blog soon about the trip along with the rest of my first month on the job but this post has a different purpose. Throughout much of the week, we discussed "moments" with our students.

Moments change our lives. They change the course of history. Don't believe me? Think about it: September 11 changed life as we know it... in a moment. The release of the first car/television/computer/cell phone changed history... in a moment. Engagements. Marriages. Births. Natural disasters. Miracles. Deaths. Salvations. Moments.

Jonah, in the Old Testament, made a lot of decisions that affected his life: He decided to disobey God when commanded to go to Ninevah and preach to their people. He was thrown overboard because of the storm and swallowed by a giant fish. He repented and was vomited out onto shore... moments.

Peter, in the New Testament, stepped out of a boat and walked on water. He then lost focus, took his eyes off Jesus, and began to sink... moments.

Jesus fulfilled the commandment of his Heavenly Father and chose to die on a cross for the forgiveness of sins. HE ROSE AGAIN... moments.

I bring this up because I also experienced a big moment recently. I was involved in a car wreck (that was my fault) in which my truck was totaled. I lost focus, for just a moment, and everything changed. Praise the Lord that I (nor anyone else involved) was not seriously injured... but we could have been. My life (along with others) could have been flipped upside down in that moment.

I say all of this so that maybe you will realize how important moments really are. They are happening... Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. In your control. Out of your control. How will you handle yours? We can't dwell on past moments... positive or negative. They affect our future but we can't allow them to control our future. We have a God that is bigger than any moment. He is in every moment. Give it to Him.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." 

[Revelation 1:8]

transition.

I could write a book on my time in college and all of the memories I made. I could list the countless life-long friendships that were born; the crazy, spontaneous nights that shaped my experience; the classes I breezed through or struggled to pass; and of course, the people and places that made it all worth while. But I figured it would be appropriate to just touch on the highlights of graduation as I begin my transition into the "real" world:

It wouldn't seem right if I didn't start by talking about the Baptist Collegiate Ministry:

I can PROMISE you that none of the great things that happened to me in the last four years would have been possible without the people I met here. It has been my "home away from home" for four years (and literally my home for two years) and I have no idea where I would be otherwise. Every friendship, every job, every ministry opportunity... happened to me because of someone or something involved with this ministry. When I was young, upperclassmen took me under their wing and showed me how to survive college. As I grew older, I was able to disciple younger students in the same fashion. My best friends in the entire world lived, served and played here. We hugged here. Laughed here. Cried here. The Lord truly blessed me through this ministry and I could never thank Him enough for that. I may never truly understand every way that my life was impacted through this ministry but I do know that my prayer is every student at the BCM is impacted like I was.

I also want to briefly touch on how blessed I was to be able to attend the school of my dreams. Ever since I can remember, my goal was to graduate from the University of Tennessee. It still hasn't hit me that I did it (ha). There were many nights that I complained about a paper I was writing, a test I was studying for or a group I was meeting with... but those were opportunities that not many people are afforded. I want to thank everyone who helped me reach this point... family, friends, mentors, employers, co-workers, peers, professors, advisors... I could have never done it on my own. And of course, I'm so grateful for a God that allowed me this opportunity and blessed me ABUNDANTLY through it. 

On UT's campus, we have a "pedestrian mall" (fancy way of saying 'walkway') that leads from our dorms to "The Hill" where most of our classes are. At the end of the "mall" is our University Seal. Superstition says that if you walk across the Seal before graduation, then you won't graduate in four years. Now, obviously, it's a silly superstition but it is also a tradition at UT. Thousands of students part like the Red Sea when they approach the Seal walking to class... including myself! So, naturally, after we all received our diplomas... the first thing most of our graduating class did was walk across the seal. It was a really cool experience because there was a LINE of Seniors in their cap and gown waiting to walk across/lay on/stand on the Seal for pictures. And yes, I was one of them...

Lastly, I wanted to give a quick shout-out to all of my friends that helped me reach this point. I could never list them all or explain how each of them helped me but I am so very thankful for them all. A few of us were blessed with the opportunity to go to Destin, Florida for a week following graduation in order to celebrate. This was such a special trip with special people that I will cherish forever... and now as I am transitioning into a new phase of life... I just want to say, again, how thankful I am to be a Vol for Life.

family getaway.

I'm posting this WAY LATER than I intended but better late than never I guess...

About three weeks before graduation (which I will blog about soon... hopefully), my family came to Knoxville for the weekend. We rented a cabin in a small town called Cosby and just hung out. I was pretty much finished with school at this point so I was able to relax and enjoy it. Everything can best be seen by photos... so that is what the blog will consist of. Sadly, my phone broke about a week after this so a lot of my pictures were lost (like pictures of the cabin and our night in Gatlinburg)... but here is what I have!

My favorite part was when we hiked on Saturday:

This is the first waterfall we saw... pictures don't do it justice. 

Left: My cousin Blake

Right: Me and my beautiful sister, Leah

Left: Me, Leah and her friend, Kayla

Right: Me, Leah, Kayla and our cousins: Blake, Roselyn and Jacob 

 Left: My Uncle Derek and Aunt Joy

Right: Mom and Pops

And this is where the hike ended:

Left: Looking up at the waterfall
Right: Looking out from the waterfall

Left: Leah trying to touch the fall...
Right: SUCCESS!

Left: Leah and Kayla chillin...
Right: Dad insisted on a picture of me...

Left: Cousinly love with Blake
Right: Blake and Mama! (Derek photo bombing)

Left: Dad caught us...
Right: Jacob being goofy

I should mention that they brought the dogs...

Left: Gabby didn't want me to leave
Right: Izzy doesn't like to sit still

Overall, it was a great weekend and I'm so thankful for it. I have no idea what I would do without the loving family the Lord has blessed me with. It will be a weekend that I treasure forever. (And don't judge us for the last picture... Dad took it and we were all staring directly into the sun haha)

nyc round 3.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my mission trip to New York City and described the work we did that week... Well I thought it would be cool to follow that up with a photo blog of some sight-seeing that we did throughout the trip. (Sorry that it took me so long to get these pictures up) This was my third trip to the "Big Apple" so I skipped a few of the mainstream attractions like the Empire State Building...

                

Central Park! I seriously want to go on a run here someday. Sadly, it was freezing and I was still in my walking boot on the trip. One day though! 

FAO Schwartz... Pretty much the coolest toy store EVER. This is always a must-see when I go to NYC. The Batman picture is actually a joke with a friend who took a picture with him last time we were in the city! It's still pretty legit... he is made entirely of Legos!

Trump Tower. The wall was a fountain! Buttt our favorite part was the "T" on the windows because it looks JUST like our "Power T"... Go VOLS!

I wish I could remember the name of this church... it was off of 5th Avenue...

Rockefeller Center! The only thing missing was the Christmas Tree (and Will Ferrell for all you ELF fans)

Time Square!

Ground Zero. The new Freedom Tower is almost finished (first picture) and the World Trade Towers Memorial is open to the public (other pictures). This was by the far the most emotional sight-seeing we did. They are still constructing a few more buildings and a transportation hub on the site. During my other two trips to NYC the memorial was still under construction so it was awesome to finally see it. 

 Staten Island Ferry. Views of Manhattan, New Jersey, Ellis Island, Liberty Island and the Brooklyn Bridge. 

Wall Street. Kristi and I took a picture here to show our Business Strategy professor but we never did...

Longest Subway Platform EVER. Scott and I ran... just to say we did.

Greenwich Village! This was one part of NYC I had never been to and ALWAYS wanted to see. It is now my FAVORITE part of the city. It has a small neighborhood feel inside such a big place. Plus, I actually found the building that the show FRIENDS is based off of (the last picture) which was awesome. 

Washington Square Park. Apparently I'm going to be in a music video...? Yes, that is me in the bright blue shirt (second picture). I stick out like a sore thumb haha.

New Hope Christian Church in Queens. One of the coolest worship experiences of my life. Such a great way to start off the week.

Hindu temple. We were able to tour their facility... the inside was extravagant (we couldn't take pictures once inside). This was a cool experience but so heart-breaking to see the brokenness of the people inside... they were putting all their hope into golden idols. Praying for these peoples' souls. 

Gyro. so so so good. (This picture is for my Pops, who loves gyros)

This was on the wall of one of the ESL centers we worked at. So sweet. I really want to visit Africa soon... (cough cough... Kahler and Katy Stone)

NYC Fire Station. Tell me this isn't what you picture when you think of a fire station in New York?!

Empire State Building. This is as close as I got this trip. (I have been up to the top before though)

Best. Gelato. Ever.

STOMP! Every time I've been to NYC, I've had the privilege of seeing a Broadway show (The Lion King, Wicked... and now STOMP). This was such a fun night! These two lovely ladies are some of my favorites! The only thing missing was Alex...